I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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