I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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