Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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