so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
