We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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