Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
