very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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