WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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