this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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