I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
