youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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