I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
