go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he fucked my hip out of place.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
