you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
