It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
