If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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