I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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