similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize