i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
