i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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