xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize