i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
