thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
