Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
