i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
