I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize