Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
