So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
