I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I love having hate sex.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
