I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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