well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
