You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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