found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize