If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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