my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
