Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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