the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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