If i come over, it means nothing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
