Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
