Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
