Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
