She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
