Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
