i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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