I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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