but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
