I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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