hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
