you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My breasts were aching with rage.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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