i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
