Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
