I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
