We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
