Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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