I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
