my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
