hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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