Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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