he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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