This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize