Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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