Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
