I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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