Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
