i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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