I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
