hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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