This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
